A tall and elegant young man stood in front of Wizard
Prang. He wore designer clothes, a designer tie, a designer
wristwatch. For all we know, he may have had designer shoelaces in his
designer shoes.
'I have been sent to you by Wizard Show,' said His Elegance.
Ho ho, thought Wizard Prang.
'I see,' he said gravely. 'Sit down!’ He moved a pile of papers and a
piece of chocolate cake off the visitor's chair, and fetched the wine
and water.
Now Wizard Show was one of Wizard Prang's graduate apprentices, and
Wizard Prang knew at all times exactly where all of these were. Wizard
Show at that moment was on the other side of the world, making idle
comments to a sheep.
The elegant man bowed slightly as he said: ' Wizard Show asked me to
convey to you his affectionate and respectful greetings!'
Ho ho ho, thought Wizard Prang.
‘Would you mind,' he said mildly, 'giving me his very own words? You
see,' he added rather vaguely, 'they may have been in some magical code
or other!'
The visitor coloured. He shifted in his chair. He coughed.
'All right,' he said in a tone of despair, 'what he actually said was
“give the old devil my love”!' 'Quite so,' said Wizard Prang,
keeping a straight face. His ex apprentice had not after all taken leave
of his senses.
He handed over a glass, poured out one for himself, and invited the
visitor to proceed. The visitor looked at his empty glass, hesitated, and
decided not to mention it. This was his day for despair.
'There is something wrong with me,' he said. 'When I take off all my
clothes and look at my naked body, I don't like what I see!' 'You
can't take off your designer genes,' commented the wizard dryly.
'Wizard Show couldn't tell me what is the matter, and said I should have
to visit the master. So here I am. By the way, I never wear jeans,' he
added with distaste.
There were two things wrong with the elegant young man, and Wizard Show
would certainly have known it. One of them was Bumptiousness. And Wizard
Show had sent the applicant halfway round the world with the sober
objective of rubbing some of it off. The other thing wrong was that
the visitor had sprained the left ankle of his subtle body. This was
causing an invisible limp, and all manner of other indetectable stresses.
In particular, his fifth chakra was sputtering, instead of spinning around
nicely.
'Do you have trouble swallowing?' asked Wizard Prang. 'Yes
things often “go down the wrong way” as they say. Funny,' he added,
'Wizard Show asked me the same thing!' 'He would, he would,' said
the Wizard absent mindedly. 'Finish your wine and lie flat on the
floor.'
The elegant young man moved a discarded sandwich on the table and set
his empty glass in its place. He looked at the tiled floor with its dirty
rush mats without relish. Well, he had come all this way .... He did
as he was told. Wizard Prang instructed him on how to place his arms and
legs and especially his hands, and told him not to move. Nothing happened
for half an hour. The wizard did not move either, but an observer would
have noticed something strange about his eyes.
Perny had been to see a film. When she came in the two men were having
a final glass of wine. She noticed that the visitor's glass was empty and
filled it for him. Wizard Prang introduced her solemnly as his apprentice.
The elegant young man was taken aback. He looked incredulous. Maybe he
didn't believe in apprentices. Perhaps he didn't believe in girls. It
could have been just the gorgeous grin.
'Is a wizard's apprentice allowed to go to the movies?' he finally
asked. 'Oh, she can do what she likes when she's finished
dissecting the day's supply of toads and bats.'
Perny gave him a fey look.
'Wizards themselves often like film going,' she said brightly. 'The
boss here however hasn't seen a film since Gone With the Wind.' 'I
couldn't follow the plot,' said Wizard Prang. 'I got obsessed with the
astonishing resemblance of the character Rhett Butler to a film star
called Clark Cable. I found it most disconcerting!’
The elegant young man got up to leave.
'So you really say I'm all right now? Where's my medicine?'
Wizard Prang groaned inwardly.
'Do we have any Spurious Compound left?' he asked Perny.
She gawped at him.
He fixed her with a steely gaze: 'Please go and see.'
Wizard Prang walked the visitor up the slate path to the gate.
'I'm a town man myself,' he said. 'As I walked here across all these
miles of fields, I noticed something quite odd. Tell me, are Welsh
farmers particularly stupid?'
The subtle body was back in shape, but we're not doing so well about
the Bumptiousness, thought the wizard.
'I don't think so,' he said idly, 'what have you in mind?'
'Well,' the visitor went on, not noticing the ice, 'in every single
field I passed, the gate was in the muddiest corner! ' 'Put it
down to perversity rather than stupidity' said Wizard Prang. The elegant
young man did so, filing the information in his designer organized mind.
Perny joined them. She was carrying a large bottle of virulently
coloured liquid. The elegant young man filed the bottle in his designer
briefcase.
'Please give a message to Wizard Show, ' said Wizard Prang, 'and
don't forget the exact words!' He lowered his voice. 'It's in code, of
course!'
The visitor's ears almost visibly pricked up.
'I send my love and the transmitted blessing,' said the wizard.
He walked back down the path with Perny.
'What did you put in that stuff?' he asked her. 'A distillation
of toads and bats,' she replied.
He stood aside to let Perny through the door first. It was an unusual
gesture, but she failed to be alerted by it, and her posterior received a
resounding thwack as she passed.
The two of them got some routine sorcery out of the way, and made a
concerted attack on the litter of potions and powders, microchips and
mugs, simulations and spells. Soon there were some plane surfaces visible
on the table and the floor, and all but one of the chairs was empty.
Perny looked at the damage they had done to their reality.
'Let's stop this now,' she said, 'or we won't recognize where we are.
We're over reacting to His Elegance!' 'Could be,' sald Wizard
Prang, secretly relieved. 'Clearing up is a strange process. Sometimes
it works and sometimes it doesn't.' 'Oh, I've seen you at it'
Perny was scornful. 'Mainly you re sort things. So then you have a new
classification in your consciousness, which you fondly hope will be more
effective and more helpful than the old!' 'Well then, it probably
is,' the wizard countered bravely. 'I'm sure it would be if you
could ever remember what the new classification is. The real problem is
that you don't reduce the variety of your messes!'
Perny pulled to the fore a cardboard box in which she had piled retorts
of all shapes and sizes. The box was marked: “The Original Potato Crisps,
now flavored with cheese, onion, basil and rhubarb derivative!” The wizard
gazed at the legend uncomprehendingly. She saw his face, looked at the
box, snorted, and slewed it round. On the next face she had written in
thick felt tip “RETORTS”.
'You see,' she said brightly, 'it's a many one mapping.' The tone was
better than the snort, at least. Perny had a particularly nasty snort.
'It reduces the variety of the mess!'
Wizard Prang wanted to point out that a many one mapping is an
informational process and not a physical one. But he was pleased that
Perny was really studying the algebraic topology she would need. So he
commended her instead, and checked up by asking for another example of a
many one mapping.
'Another example?' To his horror, Perny snorted again.
'Whatever you have been doing, those many things that you do, always map
onto the same one outcome. That is: you deserve a drink.'
The wizard chortled merrily, and gave her best. Moreover, this example
actually was an informational process. Clever of her to distinguish
between consuming and deserving a drink, he thought. Besides, it made the
jibe more pointed. Perny took advantage of her success about drinks.
'I want to talk seriously with you, but I am very thirsty. Why don't
we go out in the nice weather, and (as you would say) partake of some
tea?'
He sucked his teeth, suppressing a scowl.
'May I have chocolate biscuits?' 'Two' she was watching his
face 'three.'
The wizard went through the rituals of tea making. Only the English
understood how to select and infuse teas properly, he often said, and only
the Japanese understood the ritual. Perny put his biscuits on a plate, and
some of the very odd things she liked to nibble on another. The two of
them got loaded up with all the impedimenta, ready to take them outside.
'Why don't we put all this stuff on a tray?' he suggested. 'A
tray?' Perny looked startled. 'Don't be silly: that's just one more
thing to carry!'
She went outside, the wizard following. This shishya was definitely
odd, he was thinking; at which a passing but unnoticed small entity more
or less choked. After the repast, if you can call three chocolate
biscuits that, the wizard asked what Perny wanted to talk about. It was no
use waiting until she had finished her repast. On these occasions Perny
tended to be repasting in the present continuous.
'We are working up to another heavy night of work,' she said.
'You are teaching me about kundalini, and I am beginning to experience
her. Around midnight, I am likely to know what not to know something to
know knowing,' she concluded, she felt lamely.
But Wizard Prang approved her wording. It was much better than
referring to “altered states of consciousness”. You couldn't define that,
and besides the phrase was associated with strong drugs. Candies and
incense have effects on the nervous system too, but you never have a “bad
trip”.
'To know knowing expresses a recursive function,' he replied, 'and it
is well expressed. Please go on.' Perny thought and nibbled, and
took a swig of tea. 'Trouble is, I think I'm going to ask a bogus
question!' 'There are many kinds of bogus question. So don't
worry: we shall get somewhere by asking in what sense the question is
bogus even if it is.'
Perny said that questions were either legitimate or bogus as far as she
could see, so he asked her for an example of a bogus question.
After a little more repasting, Perny proposed: 'Are pink quadratic
equations preferable to blue ones?' 'That's a bogus question
because the connotation of the term “quadratic equation” excludes the
attribute of colour. Fine. Now I give you one: Do kippers swim folded or
flat?' 'The connotation of the term “kipper” excludes any kind of
swimming, because a kipper is a dead fish.' 'Fine,' the wizard
responded. 'We have established one sort of bogus question. Now try
this: Why did Shakespeare name his famous woman lawyer after a car?'
Perny giggled obligingly. 'He just didn't.' 'So the bogusness of
the question lies in its illusory nature, and not in the connotation of
terms. It only sounds like a question because it embodies a pun.'
'All right then,' Perny relaxed: 'I'll try to ask my question since it
will be acceptable even If it turns out to be bogus.' 'Pray
proceed!' 'The knowledge of knowing: is this a form of Extra
Sensory Perception?' 'Apply the first test. Do kippers swim folded
or flat?' 'The connotation of the word perception...' Perny was
picking her way through ... 'necessarily involves sensation!'
'Then no perception can be extra sensory.' Perny was wholly
confused. 'But you give me telepathic news and I've seen you do
telekinetic acts.' 'I've never said that they were extra sensory.
That has to be excluded by the terms we are using!' 'So they are
within the confines of the body. They are products of the intuitive
right brain, rather than left brain rationality?' 'They are to do
with the person, rather than the body. They are to do with the person's
relatedness to everything rather than his products. Remember that
relatedness includes the relation of identity.' 'So we are talking
about a self realization that is perceived within, but somehow includes
whatever is hell, I nearly said “outside”.' Perny was feeling
frustrated. 'Why can't I express what's worrying me?' 'It may be
that you are coming close to the second sort of bogus question.
Shakespeare didn't know about cam, it only sounds as if he did. Folk who
talk about Extra Sensory Perception sound as if they are saying
something, but they don't know about it either.' 'Then my question
is bogus, for one reason or another, and I might as well shut up!' Perny
glared. 'Don't be testy, Shishya,' the wizard said gently. 'Let's
start again. We don't ordinarily experience the knowledge of knowing,
although most people sense something like it once or twice in their
lives. However, I am teaching you how to achieve that experience. As you
know, we approach it through the various yogas all of which begin
physiologically and gradually incorporate something more. Let's beware
of the names of bodily parts and functions ...' 'Why?' Perny broke
in. 'You never have the least inhibition when it comes to bodily parts
and functions!'
Wizard Prang did not rise to it.
'I should hope not,' he said quietly. 'I was saying beware of the
names. The names belong not only to the physiological but to the
anatomical. They are all thought of as aspects of anatomy. But yogic
practice is an aspect of physiology. It is based on information. And
obviously, the knowledge of knowing Is an informational affair!'
'I can see that. But where is the information coming from? Is that my
problem? Or is that a bogus question?' 'No, it is legitimate!'
'Thank God,' Perny breathed. 'You won't like the legitimate
answer, though. The information is. There is no source. The search for
sources has invented pantheons of gods and goddesses, not to mention
extra terrestrial beings all communicating by Extra Sensory Perception,
no doubt!' 'You mean If everything is information, then any source
would just be information too?' 'Something like that. Don't try to
swallow everything in one go. You can't do it intellectually, because
the intellect is linear, one thing at a-time. The devil of it is that
everything is simultaneously and non linearly related to everything else
in one vast, indivisible system. So that's exactly why we cultivate
mysticism as well as science, aesthetics as well as logic ...'
'Yes, but in our approach you can swallow everything in one go. You
taught me that. It means abandonment, you said.' 'And it is very
frightening.' 'That's why you have me to look after you. Don't
worry about it.'
Perny excused herself and went inside. She spent ten minutes centering
herself, and five more wrestling with the reformulation of her question.
She blew out the candle she had lit in the meditation room, and poured
water and wine into Wizard Prang's chalice.
'How nice of you,' he said, taking it as she sat down close to him.
'I've got my question together now,' she said. 'It isn't bogus.'
She sounded calm and sure. The wizard waited.
'I know that I am more than the contents of the envelope of skin
sitting beside you. I know that my awareness involves more than
physiological sensation. For instance, I not only see a sunset or a
picture, hear a stream or string quartet, but I actually enjoy these
things. They excite me, or they lift my spirits. I experience joy, I
recognize greatness. All of this is more than can be accounted for in
terms of the physics and chemistry of things including my own sensory
system. And this is just the ordinary me I'm talking about.
Nothing special!'
She paused, reflecting happily, and not from hesitation. So the wizard
waited patiently for her to resume.
'Question, then. Why do we have to work so hard, to engage in
mystical reflection and yogic meditative practices, to acquire a higher
level of consciousness, or knowledge of knowing, or whatever we agree to
call it? Because you just said it yourself there are no sources to
cultivate, no gods to placate, no extra terrestrials for me to seduce. I
have great general awareness, why am I not Aware with a capital A?'
'Give me a moment,' the wizard said, holding out an empty chalice in an
absent minded more than a peremptory way. 'Sure,' she said, taking
the chalice. 'But the mysticism is for tonight. Could you compose a more
scientific answer?' 'Scientific, is it?' he said when she
returned. 'I hope you remember what you learned from quantum theory!'
Perny settled down in her alert posture. He noticed she had brought a
dark beer out with her a sign of serious attention. Frivolous moments were
inclined to watch the tequila sun rise.
'Because we don't recognize ourselves as “receiving” knowledge of
knowing all the time (that is, we are normally unaware of it), let's
concentrate on that 'reception' or what makes it possible!' 'But
you said, no sources.' 'That's right. Nothing is out there beaming
messages at us. But I subsist in the world, even if I am unconscious. So
the question is, what wakes me up?' 'What wakes you up at the
mystical level?' 'Yes. But why use that word if that's for
tonight? You asked me to talk science.' 'Thanks,' said Perny. 'But
why are we unconscious in the first place?'
The wizard pondered.
'The questions are equivalent. Think of the “noise” that accompanies
any electrical activity. Now awareness (at any level) is the recognition
of the pattern in which we subsist. This recognition depends upon the
nervous system which manifests itself as an electrical activity. So it
is "noisy'.'
'Q.E.D.'
'Well, noise is not just a nuisance, the cursed commodity that messes
up people's television pictures. What is happening is a rise of entropy
in the recognition system, a disordering. It means that information is
being abolished!' 'But that can be corrected. The pattern can be
restored!' 'The point is that the pattern is never entirely
present in our awareness, because it is always noisy. It happens because
electrons are discrete entities, and there's no changing that! 'So
some Information is lost. But people watch uncomfortably noisy pictures
all the time!' 'I'm talking about losing all the Information
relating to the kinds of pattern we're discussing. If the screen turns
to “snow” we are effectively unconscious!' 'But what causes this?'
'I told you: the discreteness of the electrons causes noise. The power
of the pattern recognition machine must be great enough to resist
annihilation from this cause. There is a threshold of recognition power
below which the pattern is annihilated. Then what exactly is doing the
annihilation? It's not a vengeful god, or an Alien with a jamming
transmitter!' 'You said yourself that noise is doing it!'
'Yes, but some levels of noise can be adjusted to, and I want you to see
just what it is that drives noise beyond the threshold into pattern
annihilation. I asked you to remember quantum theory, which makes
information inseparable from ... ?' 'Energy.' 'Go on. It's
not any old loose cannon energy, y'know.' 'It's the energy that
holds up the pattern of information itself. The pattern is annihilated
by its own energy!'
Click. Perny was thrilled at the insight. Wizard Prang
was thrilled for her and gave her a squeeze.
'Are we there yet?' Perny looked a bit dizzy. 'Substantively we
are, but it needs tidying up.' It was easier for the wizard to keep
insights tidy than to keep tidy the cottage. 'Ordinary awareness,
as you called it,' he said, 'which is itself a bit magical and not the
sort of ordinary you think, can sustain its pattern recognition so long
as the energy of the pattern does not overwhelm its Informational
component. It happens sometimes, even in “ordinary” awareness!'
The Interrogatory eyebrows surmounting the wizard's glance invited
examples. Perny supplied them. 'Mass hysteria. Brain washing. The
Victorian swoon!'
'Exactly. So when we come to the knowledge of knowing, we move to a
level of recursion in awareness where the energy underwriting the
pattern overwhelms the pattern recognition capability with its
associated noise!' 'Then we have to wake up to the pattern by
increasing the power of its recognition!' 'So, just so. Let's
clean up out here and finish the tidy up indoors. Flowers required.
Light the candles and incense.'
Wizard Prang made for the house, carrying his empty chalice like a
standard. Two hours later, the spiritual exercises began. |